Lofty Ideals

I that have pretty strong ideas about childrearing, and I'm wondering how many of them I can really live by.

When I was pregnant, I think that people thought I was a bit idealistic with my strong conviction that I would breastfeed Elsie for at least one year and not use any bottles. I guess they wanted me to be cautious in case things didn't work out, and thought it was a bit extreme in any case. But it's worked for us. And I think my strong convictions helped us to succeed (although I can see how it would have also made it very difficult on myself if anything had gone wrong). Elsie's almost 8 months old and we are well on our way to reaching that goal.

But I'm starting to wonder how many of the rest of my lofty ideals I'll actually have the discipline and conviction to stick by in the long run. I didn't want Elsie to watch any tv before she's two. Well... I spend a great portion of my day with the tv on now with programmes that I want to watch. I'll turn on a dvd while I feed her, and just leave it on to watch the rest while Elsie plays. I feel so guilty for this, and I'm totally modelling a lifestyle of telly watching that I wanted Elsie to avoid. But do I have the discipline to cut the tv off? Will I just cave in and let Elsie watch some dvd's so that I can get a few minutes to get something else done or look after another baby in the future.

I don't want Elsie to eat any junk food/sweets before she's 3. But this just so goes against what almost everyone else does, I know it will be a fight to achieve it. And it will mean that daddy and I will have to be very disciplined about what we eat in front of her. Can we do it?

I totally understand that making a few compromises is ok. I guess I just have to decide what I'm willing to compromise on so that I can really put my energy into sticking to my other goals. I think tv will be a compromise. I'm already predicting that we will allow Elsie to watch a limited number of kids dvds for a limited period of time each day. My idealistic dream of being a family that totally shuns tv is just never going to happen coz we're just not like that.

Dave and I made a decision before Elsie was born that we wanted to try to go the attachment parenting route with her, and I'm really pleased that we did. But it can be really hard work sometimes, and I do feel different from other mums in my circle who sleep train their kids and live by a more stringent routine than us. I guess it also doesn't help that Elsie has strong ideas of her own and refuses to fit into the average baby mold... not napping (despite my very best efforts) and being very slow to warm up to solids and very independant about the whole eating thing. Part of me wonders if Elsie is different because of the parenting choices we made, and if we should just try harder to get her to do things that the books say babies are meant to do. But then the rest of me (and it's the majority of me) knows deep down that we've followed our instincts and done what we thought was best for our family, and all babies are unique and we don't have to be a carbon copy of other families and in the midst of all our struggles I know that in the end it will all come out in the wash.